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Postby salenfl05 » Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:40 am

A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"

A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won!
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He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!"
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Postby salenfl05 » Wed Jul 07, 2010 1:14 pm

The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!" The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back."
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The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves. A few months later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking the fellow breaks into his problems. "I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of the (sniff) horses, and... it... it... grew back!"
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Postby salenfl05 » Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:42 am

There were a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red-head. They have been out in the woods starving for days. One day the Brunette goes hunting and comes back with a tweetie bird.New York Islanders jerseys
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Postby salenfl05 » Tue Jul 13, 2010 11:00 pm

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?Australia Sale
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He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
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Postby salenfl05 » Thu Jul 22, 2010 11:16 pm

A Blonde, Brunette and a Redhead were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The Redhead started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the Brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The Blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.
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One day while driving along a Blonde sees another Blonde in the middle of a wheat field rowing in a boat. So she stop's and gets out of the car and shout's to the Blonde in the middle of the field "It's Blonde like you that give all us Blonde a bad name, and if I could swim I would come over there and kick your ass!"
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Postby salenfl05 » Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:28 pm

Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"

And the snake replied that he didn't know, ED Hardy Women Short Skirts
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So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer."
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Postby haohan445 » Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:08 am

If you want to attract others in this season's eye, then the Christian Louboutin Shoesplus Pandora Jewelry will be your best choice. But if you have Zumba Fitness DVD, P90X, or Insanity Workout DVD fitness video these three materials, you will become this season's most dazzling sexy goddess
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Postby salenfl05 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:21 pm

Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer. When all of a sudden, a giant bear jumps out and scares the shit out of them. They drop their guns and run like hell.
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One of the hunters stopped, opened up his backpack and laced up a pair of tennis shoes. His buddy looked at him and said, "What are you doing? Are you crazy? You can't outrun the bear!"

To this the hunter said, "I know, all I have to do is outrun you!"
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Postby salenfl05 » Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:31 am

A bear is sitting in the middle of a forest taking the biggest shit of his life and feeling dam good about it.

He looks down and sees a rabbit dumping a load right next to him. The bear looks at the rabbit and says, "Hey, uhh Mr. Rabbit, uhh do you have a problem withthe shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit shakes his head no and says, "Nope, never bothers me."
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The bear says, "Good!" takes the rabbit and wipes his ass with him and then tosses him aside.
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Postby salenfl05 » Tue Aug 24, 2010 2:30 am

A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"

The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."

The bus driver says, "I'm not married"

The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".

Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.
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When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."

The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party!"
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