Technical Difficulties

[salenfl05]

A man and his wife are returning from holiday, while on holiday they decided to buy themselves some pets, he bought a snake while the woman got a skunk.
As they are passing through airport control they notice a sign which says
"NO ANIMALS WILL BE ALLOWED THROUGH QUARANTINE"
Slightly distressed the woman turns to her husband and asks what they should do. After thinking hard for 5 minutes the man come up with a planFranck Muller Replica
Hublot Replica Watches
IWC Replica Watches
"what I'll do is tie the snake around my waist and try to pretend that it's a snake skin belt"
"Yes" the woman replies "but what about the skunk?"
"I don't know, you'll just have to hide it up your skirt"
"but what about the smell?" the woman asks.
To which the man replies "Look, if it dies it dies!"

[salenfl05]

Nudist Camp

Posted on February 14, 2008


A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn’t believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half. A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidentally sent the bottom half.
Tim Duncan Shoes
Kevin Durant shoes
Tony Parker Shoes
Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn’t think much of it. A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn’t like his haircut, because it made his nose look too big.

[salenfl05]

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He looks down the bar and sees a drunk man who keeps falling off his stool. The man finishes his drink watching the other man try to get back up on the stool.

Feeling sorry for the drunk, the man tries to stand him up, but the drunk keeps falling. The man thinks that this drunk needs to be taken home, so he finds his address in his wallet.
Designer replica bags
replica coach
replica lv
On the way to his car, the man had to practically carry the drunk man. After finally finding his house, the man carries the drunk man to the front door. He rings the doorbell and a lady answers.
"Ma'am, your husband is drunk, so I decided to give him a lift home."

The woman replies, "Thank you sir, but I have one question... Where's his wheelchair?"

[salenfl05]

Freudian funnies


Sigmund Freud was one of the most influential thinkers of the twentieth century.
Kansas City Chiefs jerseys
Kansas City Chiefs apparel
Kansas City Chiefs shirts
His basic idea was that we all have sexual and aggressive thoughts, but that society does not allow us to express these ideas openly. As a result, they become repressed deep into our unconscious and only emerge via the odd slip of the tongue (the ‘Freudian slip’), in dreams and certain forms of psychotherapy.

[salenfl05]

One day a redneck farmer goes to farmers market and asks "Do you have any donkeys"

"Yes, but we call them asses" the man replies.

"Ok, I'll take one" says the farmer "also I need a rooster, have you got any"

"No" replies the man "but we do have some cockrells. Will that do."

"Sure" says the man "Gimme one of those also"
Chestnut Ugg Boots Classic Mini 5854
Chocolate Ugg Boots Classic Mini 5854
Sand Ugg Boots Classic Mini 5854
When he arrived home he found that both his new animals were being quite troublesome.

He called his wife and said "You bend down and grab my cock, while I slap my ass"